


what does love feel like?

by inimitabler



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: 4x19 centric, F/F, SuperCorp, but really it's just me having a breakdown, i'm in my feelings after 4x19, short and sweet, you could say this is a character study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 14:24:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18639913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inimitabler/pseuds/inimitabler
Summary: Lena ponders the question posed by Brainy.AKA me having a breakdown and slamming out 400 words of Lena coming to terms with her feelings.





	what does love feel like?

_What does love feel like?_

Lena is taken aback by Brainy’s question. Dumbstruck, even. How does one begin to describe what love feels like?

_Go listen to any Top 40 song ever written_ , she could reply.

Or, _Read some Shakespeare, Dickinson, Bront_ ë _. Nicholas Sparks, even._

They are the world’s foremost experts on love. Not Lena.

Because Lena still isn’t quite sure what love feels like herself.

Growing up, everyone who was supposed to love her left. Her mom died. Her father died. So, in those regards, love felt like loss.

From her Mother (note the difference) and brother, Lena received nothing but apathy and mind games. Love felt like manipulation.

Her previous relationships ended in lies and mistrust, and, then, love felt like betrayal.

She loves her job, her career, but it isn’t the same. That love is superficial.

Lena knows what love is _supposed_ to feel like. It is supposed to feel warm. It is supposed to feel joyful and exciting and scary and nerve-wracking. It is supposed to be selfish yet selfless, greedy yet generous. Love is supposed to feel all-consuming, but freeing at the same time. Infinite.

But when Lena thinks of all her life experiences, nothing can compare to the songs or the books or the movies or the poems. All she has felt from love is hurt. Pain. Never-ending loss and manipulation and betrayal. Agony.

The next day, when Lena visits CatCo, Kara wraps her in the tightest hug she has ever felt and says some of the kindest words anyone has ever said to her.

_You are_ not _weak,_ Kara insists. _You are a brilliant, kind-hearted, beautiful soul._

Lena breaks. She sobs into Kara’s shoulder, and suddenly, she feels something.

Deep within her chest, something releases, and it feels like Lena can finally _breathe_.

And, suddenly, love feels like release.

Love feels like trust. Like loyalty and honesty.

Love feels like warm hugs and tight arms wrapped around her shoulders.

It feels like late nights drinking wine and early morning workouts and brunch and surprise visits at work.

It feels like “that’s what friends are for.” Like “I will always protect you” and “I always have your back.”

Love feels like “you’re my favorite” and “you are my hero.”

Suddenly, love feels like something other than pain.

It feels like warmth. Joy, hysteria, fear, thrill. Love is taking, but it is also giving.

Freeing.

Infinite.

Love feels like coming home. And, in Kara’s arms, Lena knows she has found her home.  


**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [tumblr](http://inimitabler.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/haughtshits/)


End file.
